Spotlight the Problem, Not the Solution

3 minute read

One powerful shift that can help children learn to think is this:

“Spotlight the problem, not the solution.”

If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly guiding, prompting, or giving answers, this idea can help you move from being a “thinking robber” to a more mindful, effective guide.

Why This Matters

In RDI, we understand that real learning comes from:

• struggling

• thinking

• trying

• failing

• and trying again

When we give solutions too quickly, we take away the child’s opportunity to build dynamic thinking.

A Simple Example

Imagine hearing these two phrases:

“Pick it up and put it here.”

“This is hard to figure out!”

What happens in your mind?

The first leads to compliance.

The second invites thinking.

That small shift changes everything.

Shifting from Solutions to Problems

Notice the difference here:

• “Say hi to Daddy” → “There’s Daddy!”

• “Pick it up” → “Oh no!”

• “Sit down” → “Circle time”

• “Try again” → “This is just not working”

• “Good job!” → “We’re doing it!”

The focus moves from telling the child what to do to helping them notice, think, and respond.

Why Giving Solutions Can Limit Growth

When we constantly provide solutions:

• children rely on us instead of thinking

• we overestimate their abilities in guided settings

• they get fewer chances to problem-solve

We unintentionally become solution providers instead of opportunity creators.

Why It’s Hard for Parents

This shift is not easy.

When our child struggles, we feel it.

We naturally want to help, reduce discomfort, and fix things quickly.

Over time, this becomes automatic.

We start solving problems before the child even experiences them.

A Simple Way to Begin

• Start small.

• slow down

• observe more

• do a little less

Let your child reach the edge of their ability. Support only when truly needed.

Where Opportunities Exist

Everyday life is full of “problems”:

• shoes get lost

• zippers get stuck

• turns get skipped

• games don’t go as planned

These are not inconveniences. They are opportunities for thinking and growth.

Final Thought

When children solve problems on their own, even small ones:

That’s where real confidence is built. And often, parents are surprised by how much their child is actually capable of.

One Important Tip

When your child does solve something:

Celebrate it—but vary your responses.

Instead of always saying “Good job,” try:

“Wow!”

“You figured it out!”

“That worked!”

This keeps the moment genuine and meaningful.